Words, Actions and Truth
by elrenia77
Summary: Grissom has to face the truth: He started it. GSR.


_This is actually an answer to the very first weekly challenge posted by Ms Grits on the Grissom and Sara mailing list back in April 2005. (I know it's been a long time. I just found it unfinished and decided to write an end to it.) Anyways, the following things had to be included:_

_first line must be "You started it."  
must be G/S of course  
someone must wear white linen  
an ex-girlfriend of Gil's must be mentioned or appear  
Sara must reference the first time they met  
Gil or Sara must quote, Jesus, the Dali Lama, Buddha or any other historical religious/spiritual figure of your choosing.  
It should be no more than 2000 words but with this bunch I won't hold my breath._

_Thanks to Veronica 10 for beta-ing the story.__ Any other mistakes are my own_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own CSI or anything related to it. I'm just doing this for fun._

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**Words, Actions and Truth**

"You started it!"

Gil Grissom looked up from the case file that he had been reading. A puzzled look on his face, he turned his eyes to Sara Sidle with whom he had been working on their latest case in his office.

"I started what?"

Sara rolled her eyes. "You started everything! The day we met!" She stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"Are we still talking about the case?"

The case was an almost completely decomposed body that had been found in a wooden stretch at Lake Mead. Two hikers had stumbled over the body of an approximately 45-year-old Caucasian male. There were lots of creepy crawlers for Grissom to be happy about and a John Doe for Sara to care about. This John Doe had been shot and wrapped into white linen. The body had been dumped. Unfortunately, time and weather had destroyed any trace evidence or prints. Grissom and Sara didn't have a lot to work with.

The case actually resembled the case that Grissom had introduced at the seminar where he had met Sara.

"Yes! – No!" Sara drew her fingers through her hair. "I don't know! – I just know that you started it!"

Grissom's mouth twitched in amusement. "You know, for someone who over talks around me, you don't give me enough to work with."

The icy glare that he received from Sara made him realise that he must have said something inappropriate. His face went blank again, instinctively knowing that he overstepped a line. "I'm sorry," Grissom whispered.

Sara threw her hands in the air. "See? You're doing it again! You don't even know it, do you? You didn't know it back then and you still don't know it!"

Grissom was wise enough to not ask her again what she was talking about. He closed the folder and clasped his hands tightly together on top of it. Sara held her head high and looked at the ceiling. When she turned back to look at Grissom, he could see tears building in her eyes. Grissom drew in a sharp breath. He hated to see Sara cry. She was one of the strongest people he has ever met with all the demons she had to fight in her life. And when she cried… it hurt too much.

"Do you remember the seminar?" Sara asked Grissom wistfully. He just nodded numbly.

"You were late," he said in a monotonous voice, "I remember that you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen… You took my breath away." Grissom's gaze turned into a blissful stare into nothingness, "You still do."

Grissom heard Sara's gasp that sounded suspiciously close to a sob. He turned ashamed away from her, now that he was able to guess what she was talking about. He didn't expect her to talk about it while at work – while they were sitting in his office with his door and blinds opened so that everyone could see.

At the same moment when he wanted to lean back in his chair relieved about the situation he heard the click of his door shutting and the soft whooshing sound of the blinds. Grissom turned abruptly back to face Sara. He felt suddenly very small in his office – in this room that he had to share with Sara.

Sara's corners of her mouth went up into a sarcastic smirk. "Do you see now what I'm talking about?"

Grissom wasn't able to look Sara into her eyes any longer. He averted his gaze.

"That figures," Sara said defeatedly.

The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Finally, Sara sat down again in the chair she had occupied while they had been working on the murder. She buried her head in her hands and started talking quietly again. Grissom had to strain his ears to catch everything she said. He didn't want to miss on word.

"Yes, you are right. I was late. I was so embarrassed. There was this gorgeous looking lecturer who stumbled over his words when I entered the room. He made everyone to turn around and look at me. God, that was embarrassing..." She contemplated the situation, chewing on her lower lip. After a light chuckle, she finally continued, "But his eyes... his gaze... it was strong enough to make my knees go weak."

Sara was quiet again but Grissom didn't dare to move a muscle. He was able to remember the day precisely. He had dreamt about the vision that he was honoured to get to know as Sara Sidle many nights these past twelve years. And each time he saw her at work he was surprised that she was even more beautiful than in his dreams.

"So, you literary started it the first time when we saw each other." Sara continued. Now she held her head in her hands while she looked wistfully at Grissom. "You started it." Grissom had hardly ever heard so much pain and resignation. Sara's tears started to flow freely now and she buried her head in her hands. Grissom felt so helpless. There was this beautiful woman and she was crying over his inability of really showing her how he felt. His heart tore apart right there but he still wouldn't bud. He still didn't move a muscle. This time it was his self-consciousness and uncertainty of how to re-assure Sara that indeed he started it.

And that he wanted to continue it.

And that he wanted to finish it.

Preferably with a ring on Sara's left ring finger and a change of her last name.

The room was – again – filled with an uncomfortable silence. The only sounds to hear were Sara-s occasional hiccuppy sobs. Finally, Grissom shifted in his seat. He sighed.

"I remember that day clearly," he started, "It changed my life forever."

At that point Sara turned her body away from him.

Grissom continued, "You are right, you know. I started it. But I couldn't let go. I meant it when I said that you took my breath away. Sara... I had never seen pure beauty until the moment you came through that door."

Sara turned her head abruptly to Grissom. Her eyes were red from all her crying. She looked miserable but never in his life had Grissom felt a greater urge o hug her and squeeze any fears and doubts away. Her eyes told him that she didn't believe him.

"You weren't only the most beautiful woman I had ever seen but you were also the brightest and smartest woman. You demanded to know more. You challenged me. Your questions about the case file... You were miles ahead of the other participants. And it was so hard to concentrate. You turned my life upside down, Sara. I never thought that... I am a scientist, Sara. Love at first sight had merely been a phrase for me. There was no proof for it. Until I found the best proof there is."

Grissom swallowed visibly. While he had been speaking, ears had started to form in his eyes. After some time, Sara finally whispered, "You say this now. What will you tell me tomorrow? That I dreamt everything?"

"I don't want it to be a dream." Now even Grissom had tears in his eyes. Tears that he was unwilling to shed. Grissom searched for Sara's gaze. When she finally turned to look at him again, he held her gaze. He wanted to convey everything that he felt with his eyes but he soon realized that Sara was too far gone. It would take more to gain her trust again.

Grissom took a minute to think about his next step, while Sara discreetly wiped her tears away. Just at that moment his phone rang. Though Grissom hesitated for a second, Sara just nodded her head, giving a silent permission for him to answer the call.

"Grissom," he answered the phone. And the second he heard the other person answer, he cringed his forehead.

"Terri."

Sara's head shot up to look completely flabbergasted at him. It couldn't be? Grissom – for once – interpreted Sara's look correctly and he acknowledged her silent question mimicking her early actions by nodding his head.

"Yes, indeed, it's been a while."

Sara obviously couldn't stand hearing this conversation. She got up and walked to the far corner of Grissom's office. There she picked up random objects from his shelves.

"Another dinner?"

Sara's shoulders slumped forward. She looked utterly defeated.

"Terri... as you said... it's... it's been a while. And honestly I don't think that it's a good idea."

Grissom's eyes never left Sara's form. He was completely focused on her. He observed every movement of hers. Currently he was witnessing how she evidently swallowed a big lump down her throat. It was hard for him to focus on the blond anthropologist on the other end of the telephone line.

"No, Terri, it's got nothing to do with the last dinner. Not at all. It's just..." Grissom knew that the next words would be crucial. Maybe this telephone conversation was not so bad timing after all, "It's just that I am seeing someone."

Now he witnessed how Sara's whole body shook with a sob.

"Yes, you too. Bye."

Grissom finished the conversation as quickly as possible. But instead of Sara turning around to look at him, she gripped the shelf until the blood drained from her knuckles, and turned them a corpse like white. Grissom got up and quietly moved to stand behind her.

"Sara," he was standing close enough to her that he could feel her warmth radiating from her. And he savoured that warmth immensely, "I did mean what I said. I love you. What can I do to make you believe in me?"

This time it was Sara who quoted something, not the ever quoting Grissom: "Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

Grissom smiled as he recognized the quote: "New testament. The first book of John. That's some big stuff you are quoting here." He had to smile at her choosing these words. Sara just shrugged her shoulders. Grissom gently placed his hands on her shoulders letting them slide up and down her arms.

"Alright, let me think, I have been telling the truth tonight, and nothing but the truth," he stressed the situation, "So I guess I have to let actions speak."

His left hand moved to brush away her hair from her right should, while he slowly turned her around to face him. They were standing so close. He gazed into her eyes, "Sara," he breathed reverently. His hands had moved to cup her face and he slowly inched closer to her until finally their lips met.

He could feel her grin more than anything else and it was a good thing that made Grissom smile as well.

Once they broke the kiss, he looked at her expectantly and was honoured with the most dazzling Sara smile ever. It made his heart tender with hope. Sara did answer all his questions:

"Well, I guess I do believe you after all."

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Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18) 


End file.
